Name her...

Police detained a French postman behind an Internet operation selling strands of hair and tiny pieces of cloth allegedly taken from the mummy of Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses II. If authenticated, Egypt wants the hair back.

Massively Under-appreciated Songs Vol. 25

Do yourself a favor and check out this post over on Sandy's journal.

In Vermont we call the inexplicably good "toyota".

I don't know why - but we do.

When a woodpile is sufficiently stacked, or a road safely traversed. When a stomach is full or a person fits the bill of a social craving...it is "toyota".

Sandy is entering the realm of brilliance with her art and it captures that rare essence where, like Rockwell, you never tire of looking at it.

Very, very Toyota.

Joel brought this gem to my attention...

Churches across the country are excited about Dance Praise! It's like Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) for the PC -- only better since it includes music from top Christian artists, including tobyMac, ZOEgirl, Audio Adrenaline, Steven Curtis Chapman, Newsboys, Sanctus Real, Out of Eden, and more.

"Dance Praise is first-rate in every respect, and I give it an unqualified 'A' across the board. Dance Praise lifts your spirits and leaves you feeling just plain good. A big amen to that!"

-Karla Munger, JustAdventure.com

Name him...

Abstract expressionist artist, good friend of John Lennon's, mediocre bassist and legendary 5th Beatle - Stuart Sutcliffe.

Believe it, baby...

"Thank you for your interest in wishing to set or break a Guinness World Record.

To ensure that we are able to deal with your application, as speedily and as helpfully as possible, please take the time to read the information and instructions on the subsequent pages. The whole process should only take 5-10 minutes.

It is highly recommended that you are connected to a printer, as you will need to print several pages for reference, as well as a form at the end, part of which you must submit to us before we are able to review your proposal/claim.

If you are interested in multiple records/claims, you will need to fill out a separate proposal form for each individual record/claim.

All Guinness World Records (GWR) must be approved at our London headquarters. No-one else has the authority to distribute rules or approve records on our behalf. Until GWR has received a signed copy of the Agreement from the applicant, GWR in no way encourages, authorises or permits any record attempt to be carried out and it will have absolutely no connection with or authorise any record attempt carried out before such acknowledgement. "

To live peacefully with Muslims and Jews, Christians must put aside the notion that their faith requires the creation of a Christian kingdom on Earth, a Lipscomb University theologian told an interfaith gathering at the university.

"We are not going to get very far in our relationship with Jews or Muslims if we do not let go of this idea," Lipscomb professor Lee Camp said at Tuesday's conference.

Did you know...

...that there's an HIV infected muppet on Sesame Street?
"We know that she'll be lively, alert, friendly, outgoing, and HIV-positive," was how she was described when they were concocting her character. - I guess I missed this induction and wasn't aware of said character until I saw a commercial starring the muppet and Bill Clinton.
I don't have a problem with the character, really...AIDS is real and not something to be ignored but if you're looking for a character to add to a TV show aimed at first graders hoping that the character will resound with and help youth understand a health concern isn't HIV a bit over the top? WHat audience is this character really geared towards?

I mean where's the morbidly obese Muppet?
Where's the muppet that cuts itself?

Day at the airport...

In European settings the practice is called Kris Kindle, here, of course, we call it Secret Santa. I made out like a bandit in last year's airport Christmas and then, 8 months later, TSA Scott (my target) gave me back the gift I had given him because it didn't fit him. Score! My target this year will be a real challenge...
Then an epic Pictionary Battle between TSA and Airline today. We prevailed and I documented some of the more memorable drawings for you.

Howard Johnson's

Saltwater Taffy

Kwaanza

Graceland
Then I was able to make biscuits (albeit from a can) for my weekly dinner at the Pecks. I always try and make my bachelor status as prevalent and pathetic as possible.

Aunt Roxanna

Until I can snag some more photos of the Youngins here are some montages you may not have seen.

A taste of Vermont.

Gracie's last birthday.

Obie's dedication.

Surreal though it may be, this is a little "slice of life" window into my world....

The cost of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is on the rise

After years of stagnation, wages for skilled workers, including the song's dancers and musicians, have increased as the labor market has tightened," said Jeff Kleintop, chief investment strategist for PNC Wealth Management. "Also, a decline in the housing market has dampened demand for luxury goods, such as gold rings."

While prices for the partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens, six geese and seven swans remained the same as last year, higher wages made the lords a-leaping, ladies dancing and pipers piping costlier.

Name the stadium....

Strawberry Fields Sporadically

Text Message Delete...

I'm at church, I haven't been watching the game.

Happy Thanksgiving tate!

Ah yes, clashing sowrds and beautiful girls.

Oscar is alive and well. Your salt trick worked. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I DUNNO WHY IM TYPING IN CAPS...

oh you go with THAT kind of thug. I prefer the pliers to the knuckles type. Less brute force more calculated pain. More professional.

^
What I'll be seeing for 12 hours this week

I'm glad you find yourself sooo amusing. Being patronizing is slowly becoming a lost art.

What is with the metal turkey on Fox?!

Middle of gillette field...near the sidelines...the graphic...what is THAT!

Dude! Expose him!

If you owed me money you and your knees would know it

For a lot of reasons, based on a lot of different merits...this video is worth watching

For the record...inside the first 5 minutes of seeing her I drew Sarah's blood.

Totally ratifying her warmonger suspicions about me...

Name him...

Turns out the CIA thinks I'm a "Curious Adventurer"

CIA's personality test.

The CIA is aggressively recruiting to fill its ranks after a realizing how crucial intelligence is to the way we prevent and fight wars now - and also after a bungled thrust for recruits right after 9/11 that left many feeling a little creeped out by the agency. You can read a Washington Times article on the subject here and be sure and use the link above to find out what spy vein the CIA thinks you would fit into.

I was watching Elisabeth read to her sisters and cousin Bowden - I am so ridiculously
lucky to have them all in one place for a few weeks. Nothing delights me quite as much the Tate youth. Individually they are all gems, collectively even more so.

In addition to that, the Redskins, Bills and Pats won today - Lisa and I beat Josh/Sarah and Joel/Christine in Tri-Bond and I won a round of Bible Sword Drilling in church. A capital day, methinks.

cmddsmav (11:17:11 PM): so if you're a Giant...how many days do you let pass before you can frequent your favorite stores and restaraunts?
liechtenstein**(11:17:42 PM): You need a win first
liechtenstein** (11:17:47 PM): till then you redefine underground

I stole from Action Maxon this killer article about early life in the womb.

It's true I'm doomed to reap what I sow
and this night is the threshing floor
And I'm going to block you/knock you out
As I swing and kick for the door

You know this...

Good Morning,

Yesterday afternoon (11/16) we had a meeting with three managers from
Continental Airlines code share group. This group is charged, in part, with the
responsibility of ensuring that all of Continentals' code share partners are
meeting certain standards of performance.

I'd like to share with you some highlights from the meeting. CommutAirs' on-time
performance and completion factors are exceptional. We are consistently above
98% completion factor in CLE with an August peak of 99.5%. Our on-time
performance has for the past 6 months been better than all other Continental
Connection carriers. Probably the most telling measure of the quality of the
product we deliver is our customer complaint trend. For the past six months we
have been below Continentals complaint benchmark and well below all other
Continental Connection carriers. Last month our complaint ratio was .11 per 1000
passengers. That is a statistically insignificant number.

Achieving such great performance requires a team effort. All employees here at
CommutAir should be proud of this achievement. Thank you for all the hard work
and professionalism and attention to detail.

Okay...now we're cooking with propane

Name him...

And Previously:
Duke Boy replacement cousins for the once and future Bo and Luke - Coy and Vance

And beat writer and overall fever - William S. Burroughs

Massively Under-appreciated Songs Vol. 24...(starting at 2:31 into the song)

I, for one, rather like my city.

I had thanksgiving at the hospital cafeteria!

I wanted something hot to drink
But my city was opposed
Cuz round every door did stink
That stench of being closed

The rust is just cosmetic
Mom told me it's the impolite that stares
I ran over Potiphar's dog
And I think he's the only one that cares

I am thankful for all the little brown eyes in my life
I am thankful for clarity
I am thankful for diversity in my thoughts, friends and future
I am thankful for not going native
I am thankful for my goldfish
I am thankful for hate's retreat
and
I am full of thanks, above all else, to Jesus for my salvation

~New Fox TV Special/Book Deal To Determine How Barry Bonds Would Have Used Banned Substances, Had He Actually Used Them

Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Corp. announced plans this week to air and release a TV Special and book that will hypotethically discuss how Barry Bonds deliberately used a series of banned substances to jack up his frame and his stats; although, of course, he never has.

"A needle," Bonds tells the interviewer in the video clip released to the media. "I would have injected HGH into a vein in my right arm with a needle and then used the added power to hit 73 home runs in one season...had I illegally used HGH which I never did."

Forbes Magazine has named Little Orphan Annie's own Daddy Warbucks (a defense contractor) as the richest fictional character. Warbucks replaces Santa (whose wealth has no apparent ceiling) on the top of the list after Forbes had to concede that Santa might be real.

I'd be interested, however, to see how much wealth the Lucky Charms Leprechaun could amass if he really, truly concentrated.

Yes...As Josh intoned:

I would shoot Sasquatch if I had the opportunity. Male or female. Even a young "smallfoot". I would not 'wing' it...a bad decision, as it could flee or turn on me. I would haul that beast from whatever hole I killed it in and drive it to the nearest metropolitan center to parade the corpse through the streets. I would remove the most choice parts of its flesh to roast and share with friends and then I would turn over the carcass to science for full study and verification.
I would go to Disneyland.
I would go to the White House.
I would go on Dateline.
I would go on dates with cute paleontolgists.

I would go to Nepal to bag me a Yeti.

And you want to know how I'd feel about it?
I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about it.

It shouldn't have been hiding and stuff like that. What'd it expect me to do?

~Gargamel Ready to "Go Big or Go Home"

In a bold statement that is sending little blue shock waves through the Smurf community, evil alchemist Gargamel announced this week that he is ready to "Go Big or Go Home" when it comes to bringing death and destruction to the Smurf race.

After years of trying, vainly, almost every tactic he could think of to capture Smurfs for sustenance or for the making of gold, the aged Wizard

A GROUP of 51 Indians who claim to be descendants of one of the ten lost biblical tribes were on their way to Israel last night, in what is viewed by their supporters as a fulfilment of prophecy.

Fox News eyes right-leaning satirical show!!

"We're supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all," she said. "Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions." - Scarlett Johansson

Name him...without cheating.

"They say that goldfish have no memory - i guess their lives are much like mine - and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time..."

Her life at the airport was never a good one. My fish tormented her mericlessly and we eventually had to place her in her own separate (and smaller) tank. She was the source of much pity and the impetus for much animosity towards Capital H, but Pilot Burgess came in tonight and his heart was touched by Wilbank's tore up body and soul...so we bundled the old girl up and sent her away on flight 8787 to a new life at Logan International Airport. Away from the terror of my fish and the divisive past she caused...to the bright lights of the North Shore....closer to the ocean and closer, perhaps, to a happier life.

Text message delete...

So...i see the magic is gone. Too bad you can't play in the majors, I was actually tempted to believe.

Dignity? Dude ur not the 'changing diapers is womens work' type, right?

Hey there blogosphere!

Well you'll be gone when I'm in vermont so i guess we don't have to worry about that do we?

I need a little more 92549 right now and a little less 90210

Seriously? That's weird. They usually let you in on that sort of thing. Maybe they'll just show up at your door one day in a black suv...

Listen...sprinkle some salt in his tank.

I've been uninsured before...it's kind of exhilirating.

what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. I am now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I'm sorry for revisiting this subject...

But it occurred to me, while drifting to sleep the other night, (and after a little research) that Colonel Harland Sanders is the first human likeness to be seen from space. When the Colonel (who was actually only a Private in the Army, serving in Cuba) died at age 90 in 1980 would he have ever thought that his life would somehow translate into having his visage - although a drawn, 65,000 piece rendition - being the first human face to be broadcast beyond the ionosphere?
I guess, though, that I do find it very fitting.
A hard-working, family man from the Heartland. A firefighter, steamboat driver, insurance salesman and everyday man.
A believer.
And a man who looked like he possessed the perfect amount of good, mischievous humor to find the greatest tickle out of his picture in the desert.

Name them...

Indian bar girls perform at a dance bar in Bombay May 5, 2005. An Indian carpenter who stole diamonds worth more than a million dollars from a jewelers was arrested in a dance bar after he splurged to ensure the band play one song repeatedly, alerting a police informer, reports said. REUTERS/Punit Paranjpe AD

"No, man, seriously. The most recognizable band's sound, without vocals, is the Red Hot Chili Peppers..."

"I take this statement to mean, then, that you have never heard Cake's music?"

Genius...

I am aware of the existence of the show Fear Factor, which is to say I've seen a few minutes of it at different times and varied intervals since its inception. It doesn't really take me to the prom but as I was flipping through the channels killing time this afternoon I paused on it for a moment. They had presented a perfect challenge to the teams; a challenge that called for the women to sit in a barber's chair, get spun around, and have to endure whatever haircut they landed on.
Mohawk, Bald, Patched, Taco etc...
This was true fear.
This would require overcoming vanity.
One girl knew that if she quit she and her partner were off the show.
She quit.
Another knew it would mean losing $25,000.
She quit.
Another did go through with it, crying, because she needed the money.

But I'd never seen any televised fear that was so strong yet unnecessary.
Really, truly genius.

A Young Steve Leader...

Got a letter this past week from Steve Leader. In it he enclosed a transparency of a picture he took. Steve is a good friend because he knows how much I enjoy casting my image on my own wall....

With an imminent departure I knew I would need to secure for myself an unimpeachable shingle here in my beloved Green Mountains. While events might uproot me and scatter me abroad I know how much I want to retain a slot here...even if it's just a few square inches.

Job Bartholomew Tate
PO Box 6798
Rutland, Vermont
05702-6798

I'm hoping to put a little buddy fridge in here.

Zzzzzz....